"MY NAME IS PLANT AND DON'T PLANT ME IN A TOONIE HOLE"
	BY BRUCE ZIMMERMAN

I like to be pampered!  From the very beginning at least as far back as I can remember I was raised like a king!  All my needs were met by Nursery Maids.  They did a great job waiting on me hand and foot!

 They mixed up a rich, porous organic stew for me to sink my roots into.  They ensured that the pH was right and added water soluble transplanter to guarantee my root success.  I have been pruned, pampered and I am growing like a weed.  By gosh, Am I beautiful or what!

 Oh, Oh! I just heard my Nursery Maids say, to ship me out.  Some of my friends have already gone. I hope we all get good homes!

 I am looking for more of that good earth to wiggle my toes into.  So make sure my hole is twice as wide and at least six to ten inches deeper than my pot.  This hole is my home forever so fill it with rich, porous, organic soil.  This can be made by mixing peat moss, composted manure and the original soil that came out of the ground.  Please don't plant me too deep!  In fact I should not be planted deeper than I was grown in my pot by my Nursery Maids.  Sometimes my toes are pot bound.  If so tickle my toes by gently teasing my roots free.  But be gentle!

 When you are adding the soil mix to my new home tramp it down as you fill, using only the heel of your boot.  And be careful with those big clodhoppers.  Don't step on my toes!

 Make sure when you're finished you leave a shallow depression at my base.  This moving is thirsty work so fill this shallow depression with transplant solution.

 If you think I need it put a tree guard around my trunk and stake me up on the prevailing wind side for a year or so.  Be nice.  Pamper me with an organic mulch.  Pine bark would be luscious. Don't forget me!

 Come back and see me often.  Look me over for problems because I most certainly will tell you if there is any.  But most importantly stick your finger or moisture meter into my new home to make sure I am not too wet or too dry.  When I am either wet or dry I get sad, droop and generally I am of poor color.

 Remember I respond to constructive criticism too!  If you want me to grow or flower tell me by fertilizing me with 20-20-20 or 15-30-15 respectively.  Then give me guidance a hair cut would be nice and it will show me which way to grow.  The removal of my spent blooms will tell me you want more flowers.  No problem!

 Oh, yeah sure!  You get to go on vacation but I'm stuck here at home!  I want a babysitter!  Someone to pamper and watch over me!  I could cry out or be ravaged by insects and disease while you're gone.  Remember, none of this is too much to ask!

 I am dedicating my whole life to cleaning your air and titillating your senses with sound, fragrance, color and some of us you even eat.

 Looking forward to joining your family

 Marvelous Maple    

Elected Spokesperson.